February 11th 2005:

Kirk Barely Gets Into Why VW Sucks:

First off if your a man and you own a Volkswagen (VW from now on. im not typing this stupid fucking name all the time), guess what your not a man. Youve got a dripping little pussy and you were just to fucking dumb to notice it. And now your going, no, i am a man, the guy writing this is a dumb ass. To that I say, oh im sorry, is it that time of the month for you? Or did you get some sand in your pussy again? Shut the fuck up. VW makes chick cars. Everyone knows this. Even VW. For fucks sake they put a flower vase in their VW beetle. Only a car company that makes chick cars woudl do soemthing that flamingly gay. So if your a dude and you own a VW, your not a dude. Your a woman and an ugly one at that. next the VW beetle sucks, blows and swallows. what a piece of shit. guess what VW, remember the old beetle? yea it was a piece of shit and everyone knew it. owning one was an embarassment. They were like tin cans on 4 wheels. if you drove one you better have your will in a fire proof wallet in your back pocket, cuz if you were in a car accident, well your ass was mega boned. So you have a peice of shit car and who in their right mind woudl be dumb enough to actually bring it back. Hm Ford had the Pinto, it was a peice of shit, did they bring it back? no. Look slike theyre not dumb enough. So who is? Oh wait, VW the dirty ass pirates. So They bring back this pile of steaming horseshit and make us gaze upon its supreme offense to the word fugly (fucking ugly dipshit) And to VW I say, what the fuck? You kicked us in the nads before with your shitty car, why do we have to endure it again? Btw if you BUY a VW beetle, that should be done on penalty of death. There should just be a sniper outside waiting for you and when you walk out of the dealership blam, a huge slug to the temple. No wait. To the kneecap. Then were gonna have a manly car like a Hummer H2 run you over until you die. This is all in addition to the fact that VW cars are just shit anyway. They break down so much that you better get a tow truck driver as your new butt buddy. Hey and then you can grab your ankles for the VW dealer too cuz hes gonna pound you in the ass everyday like your new to the cell block. VWs cost a shit load to repair. So hey if you own a VW theres really only one peice of advice I can give you. Go get in your VW. Put your seatbelt on because safety is important. Drive to the nearest railroad tracks. Once you are passing over one of the sets of rails, stop the car and turn it off. Now wait. If you cant find any railroad tracks driving at 100 MPH into a rivine, gorge or off a cliff woudl also work just as well.

The Red Dread